Hanging My Ass Out Online

I am, sadly, not part of the Facebook revolution, the MySpace weltanschauung, or even the blogging mindset. I know, this is a weird thing to hear coming from someone who has been running some kind of website splattered with overflowing id since 1999, but there it is.

The thing is, I dislike hanging my ass out on the internet. By “ass” I mean “personal details.” It took nearly a year before I admitted on my rant site that I was female. I was traumatized when I realized that as part of the Dark Side of the industry, I was not going to be able to avoid having photos of my made-for-the-internet face posted. When I got married, I didn’t mention it online, and in fact did not publicly mention my legal name change until I left Mythic… two and a half years after the wedding. I use my real name when posting on behalf of an employer (and when I’m yammering on about anything to do with the gaming industry – the trust of players is too fragile a thing to risk even the APPEARANCE of sock puppetry), but in all other non-gaming forums I use handles. I won’t even post my birthday or geographical location in other online profiles if I can help it.

I don’t *hide* anything, but I’m in no rush to get all of my information into Google. I firmly believe that there is a reckoning en route for people who commit every last freaking detail to the internet. When Google becomes a network implanted inside human skulls, and potential employers and lovers just think your name and suddenly pictures of you from summer camp, that one kegger, and the all-night M:TG gaming session pop up, along with your diatribe over the 1H slashing weapon with a 2% chance to crit vs. elvenkind only YOU wanted it to be 3% and for some reason that really, really mattered? So much so that you called the community manager a three bagger who tracks rabbits by scent? Yeah. It’s not going to be pretty.

Anyway, my point… I had one… oh! Yes! My point is that despite a life lived almost entirely online, I am by modern standards an intensely private person, and have spent the last week going back and forth over making this post at all. However, many if not most of my regulars already know, and I feel like I owe an explanation for the silence to the other three of you:

My husband and I welcomed our son, the once and future Nerd King, the Rare Spawn, the Kwisatz Haderach, and the Scourge of the Galactic Empire, into the world on Saturday, February 9th.

Yeah. That’s why I wasn’t drinking at AGC. All that lovely free booze, just gone to waste.

The site will be on a bit of a… hiatus, until I can get back to reading the news and gossip and having informed opinions again. And thank you very much to everyone who has sent their good wishes so far – I have seen all the IMs and emails, but it’s been difficult to respond in a coherent manner. The decibel level that can emit from seven pounds of beady-eyed humanity is pretty astounding. See you all soon.



  1. Calaruis said,

    February 18, 2008 at 10:41 pm

    Congrats to you and your family.

  2. David Penney said,

    February 18, 2008 at 10:57 pm


  3. mandrill said,

    February 18, 2008 at 11:10 pm

    Congratulations! Keep him away from the Bene Gesserit and Spice. We know where that leads.

  4. William Furr said,

    February 18, 2008 at 11:26 pm


  5. mystery said,

    February 18, 2008 at 11:58 pm

    Grats! You’ve unlocked the Mommy Achievement.

  6. Tom said,

    February 19, 2008 at 12:17 am

    Congratulations to you all! If you name him Anonymous now it will save a lot of Google trouble later….

    jus sayin

  7. Ken Sykora said,

    February 19, 2008 at 1:08 am

    Referring to your bit on google being implanted in the cabesa, that’s exactly the reason why I post very little information on facebook and am very careful about what I tag. I, however, don’t feel like I need to hide behind a handle online, although calling myself ken.sykora on WoW would be pretty f’n retarded. Having said that, I try to keep my handle consistent on every game I play so it’s just becomes an extension of my real identity.

    Congrats on your son!

  8. Retina said,

    February 19, 2008 at 1:10 am

    Congrats! My wife and I are having the antichrist that’ll bring the end of days so we should hook up! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

  9. Dave Rickey said,

    February 19, 2008 at 1:18 am

    Congratulations, Sanya. I’m glad to hear that you and Mat have fulfilled your biological imperative! πŸ˜‰

    Seriously, I’m happy for both of you.


  10. Paks said,

    February 19, 2008 at 1:40 am

    Congrats! And I think we (those few who are human and not planted on this earth by an alien super-race) spill too much of our innards all over the intraweb as well. I tend to try hard to keep my innards where they belong πŸ™‚

    And uh… Rare Spawn? I fear to ask what he drops!!

    Grats again and best of health and happiness to you, your husband, and that bundle of joy. πŸ˜›

  11. VPellen said,

    February 19, 2008 at 1:47 am

    May your son’s life be long, his exploits prosperous, and his hardships few.


  12. Ruby said,

    February 19, 2008 at 1:48 am


  13. Brandon said,

    February 19, 2008 at 2:10 am

    Congrats πŸ™‚

  14. isildur said,

    February 19, 2008 at 2:23 am

    Hooray! Mine is 6 months old as of last week, and now that we’re past the sea-slug stage, he’s super-awesome and lots of fun.

    .. sometimes I even take a break from WoW to play with my baby.

    Not that often though. Let’s be reasonable, here.

  15. Solok said,

    February 19, 2008 at 4:11 am


    Child MMO Tip – Kids love when you show them squirrels, rabbits, bears, wolves, and all sorts of animals in the game. Just make sure they (the animals, not the kids) don’t aggro so you don’t have to explain why the wolf is trying to eat you and you stabbed it with a sword πŸ˜‰

  16. Amethyst said,

    February 19, 2008 at 4:59 am

    Congrats to both of you =) ours just turned 9 in January and is already the Nerd of his class. He’s got a week break for Presidents Day/ Winter Break and the PS2, XBox360 and Laptop haven’t had a chance to cool off yet I don’t think LOL. I do agree with Solok untill they are old enough to understand don’t agro them unless you have to, makes for a much quieter evening =) Best wishes to you both!!

  17. Arrakiv said,

    February 19, 2008 at 6:13 am


  18. Cuppycake said,

    February 19, 2008 at 7:17 am

    Congratulations Sanya! It all makes sense now!!!!!! πŸ˜‰ I want to see pictures!

  19. Flimgoblin said,

    February 19, 2008 at 9:55 am


  20. Ed said,

    February 19, 2008 at 9:56 am

    Congratulations to you and your husband.

    Your life is going to become even more interesting now.

  21. IainC said,

    February 19, 2008 at 10:04 am


    I hope you didn’t have to camp the spawn point for too long.

    uhhh…. I fail at analogies.

  22. Aoladari said,

    February 19, 2008 at 11:21 am

    Congrats!! This doesn’t mean you’re allowed to go all soft though… j/k

  23. Brandon J said,

    February 19, 2008 at 12:52 pm

    Congrats! Best wishes to you and yours.

  24. DJ Larkin said,

    February 19, 2008 at 2:27 pm

    The end is nigh.

    Congrats on the little demon.

  25. Nate Levy said,

    February 19, 2008 at 2:33 pm

    Congrats! And to pass along the best thing I’ve learned from our little one: Costco’s store-brand Kirkland baby wipes are, in fact, the big win.

  26. =j said,

    February 19, 2008 at 2:59 pm

    Congratulations! Don’t give us any of that “See y’all soon” business. As the sire of a pair child processes myself, I can tell you that you will never have even a tiny fraction of the kind of spare time you had even a month ago.

    Some notes on child-“assisted” MMOing (and he will be helping as soon as his arms can reach the keyboard): Any shape-changing class (WoW Druid) is a big win. Most MMOs are so low on gore, you can talk about the other guy “falling down”. Since everything respawns in short order anyway…

  27. Zaphid said,

    February 19, 2008 at 3:16 pm

    Congrats !

    You have received Weighted Companion Baby.

  28. Aufero said,

    February 19, 2008 at 4:13 pm

    All hail the Nerd King!

    Congratulations! Hope you and your husband got a lot of sleep in the preceding months, you’ll be needing that backlog.

  29. savagex said,

    February 19, 2008 at 4:45 pm

    Gratz on the spawning

  30. Igniferroque said,

    February 19, 2008 at 6:15 pm


  31. rao said,

    February 19, 2008 at 6:19 pm

    Congrats! Much happiness to you and your family.

  32. downsj said,

    February 19, 2008 at 8:06 pm


    So will you put “DING! 1!” on his first birthday cake?

  33. newbis said,

    February 19, 2008 at 9:13 pm

    Congratulations to you!

  34. janetv said,

    February 19, 2008 at 9:34 pm

    Very, Very Cool!!! Congratulations!!!!

  35. Georgia said,

    February 19, 2008 at 10:54 pm

    Woot woot! ^_^

  36. macster said,

    February 20, 2008 at 12:23 am


  37. Parizad said,

    February 20, 2008 at 2:17 am

    Congrats again!

    Look, I said it before, and I’ll say it again. If you want to breed your son with my future daughter, just say the word, and I’ll become a hussy and get knocked up!

    Ummm… not that you’re a hussy.

    Yeah. Congrats to you both!

  38. Parizad said,

    February 20, 2008 at 2:19 am

    I mean, you know, to get that whole awesome guild going with the full-bred gamer babies.

    (Thought that needed to be added/reminded.)

  39. Linato said,

    February 20, 2008 at 5:19 am

    Congratulations! I look forward to reading your blog again whenever you have a spare minute to post. I know how hard those spare moments are to find though when a little one is involved.

  40. wrenwalker said,

    February 20, 2008 at 3:24 pm

    Congratulations to you and your husband. May you be blessed with many a sleepless night for the rest of your life!

  41. Phaltran said,

    February 20, 2008 at 4:57 pm

    First and foremost, a huge congratulations to you and your family. I trust since you’re posting again that you and baby are healthy and doing well. Now we know that all those months of blaming the dog for the flatulence were a cover. hehe

    Now let me warn you about your new child. πŸ™‚ You’ve given birth to an aquarian in the year of the rat.

    “People born in the Year of the Rat are noted for their charm and attraction for the opposite sex. They work hard to achieve their goals, acquire possessions, and are likely to be perfectionists. They are basically thrifty with money. Rat people are easily angered and love to gossip. Their ambitions are big, and they are usually very successful. They are most compatible with people born in the years of the Dragon, Monkey, and Ox.”

    “Traditional Aquarian Traits

    Friendly and humanitarian
    Honest and loyal
    Original and inventive
    Independent and intellectual

    On the dark side….

    Intractable and contrary
    Perverse and unpredictable
    Unemotional and detached”
    A good bit more at this site: http://www.astrology-online.com/aquarius.htm

    Whether people believe in zodiac or not, these traits are generally true partly because they are so broad but also because they’ve been observed and adjusted for centuries. My mother was born on 2/9, and she definitely displays many of the traits described especially the contrariness.

    My real question is… what will be his first class in a MMO? πŸ™‚

    Congratulations again and I wish you all the best of health and fortune.

  42. Kirel Redhand said,

    February 20, 2008 at 10:02 pm

    You don’t know me from Adam and if you did, I would be quietly amused but secretly freaked out.

    Privacy on “tah intertubes” is a precious thing.

    Congratulations on your little one. They don’t say little and boisterous for long. Their lungs get bigger and their voices louder. *smiles* Enjoy him while he is young.

  43. DragonPup said,

    February 20, 2008 at 10:29 pm

    Congratulations Sanya!

  44. Jschmuck2 said,

    February 20, 2008 at 11:53 pm

    Mazel Tov!!

  45. Staryx said,

    February 21, 2008 at 2:35 am

    I send you many Conga Rats, Sanya!*

    Enjoy what sleep you can get. πŸ˜‰

    *no actual rats will be sent, as I don’t have time to train them to conga…

    But that would be awesome, wouldn’t it?

  46. Frank S. said,

    February 21, 2008 at 1:26 pm

    Congrats. They tell me sleep is at a premium once the baby is born, so I hope you folks get as much as you can these next few weeks.

    As for the other topic, I’m pretty free with my actual real name (at least my first one, my last one is so common I could be anyone, honestly), but I stopped blogging about my personal and work life and posting a ton of detail on my Facebook a long time ago, for many of the reasons posted.

    If anyone doesn’t believe the destructive quality of the Internet, try visiting JuicyCampus sometime. The amorality of the Internet just lends itself to these kinds of endeavors. It’s best to minimize details.

  47. Khan said,

    February 21, 2008 at 3:45 pm


  48. Sigenrecht said,

    February 21, 2008 at 6:25 pm

    Mmm… I’d like sock puppets…

    Wait, wait… Oh, congratulations on the future downfall of the Emperor– erm, I mean, son. May his feats be monumental! Best of luck enduring parenthood, and may the Force grant you occasional respite.

  49. Mike Gribbin said,

    February 21, 2008 at 7:32 pm

    Congratulations Sanya!

    Let us know when he dings 1, we expect a full report on his new abilities and increased stats.

  50. Alacrity Fitzhugh said,

    February 21, 2008 at 8:02 pm


  51. Beowulfa said,

    February 21, 2008 at 8:17 pm

    Congratz on the little one! If you’re the natural mom-type and are already madly in love, so much the better. If you’re like me and the mothering-thing is not natural, don’t worry. The hellish first 6 weeks will soon be over, he’ll smile at you, and it will all have been worth it.

  52. Joe Ludwig said,

    February 22, 2008 at 6:59 am

    You have gotten better at Procreation(1)


  53. Michael said,

    February 22, 2008 at 6:05 pm

    I’m happy for you, Sanya! I hope you have a great relationship with your son for the rest of your life.

  54. Paul said,

    February 22, 2008 at 9:43 pm

    awww a little baby shadowzerker! kidding!

    Seems like to me DAOC has went downhill since you left 😦 I would beg for you back but…… I do not think it will do any good πŸ™‚

    Congrats on the little baby πŸ™‚

  55. Philip Ripper said,

    February 22, 2008 at 11:50 pm

    Remember to take breaks. The baby is not as fragile as you might think. You can ALWAYS step away. Make a phone call to someone. Take a break until that “I’m going to throw it out the damned window” feeling passes. The feeling everyone gets but no one talks about. That’s the best advice I can give you. It’s normal, and it’s okay.

    Love and wishes to your family.

  56. Ant ButterNut said,

    February 23, 2008 at 5:34 pm

    Personally I propose the ‘Bunghole Method’ of child rearing.

    ( A bunghole is the hole in a wine barrel used to fill it )

    1. Place child in wine barrel.
    2. Feed child through bunghole.
    3. After 18 years… drive the cork in.

  57. Rod said,

    February 23, 2008 at 10:17 pm

    Congrats on the new addition!

  58. mythago said,

    February 25, 2008 at 1:57 am

    Mazel tov! In a few months he should be able to hold his head up, and you can get him started on the Wii. πŸ™‚

  59. Grimjakk said,

    February 26, 2008 at 5:10 am

    Congrats! (A bit late. Gomen nasai!)

    As for the Internet thang, I can hear you on that… I’m not TOO concerned as I usually use one of a few handles and I’m pretty mellow about what I post anyway.

    It’s kind of fun to google your character’s name and realize that he has a bigger ‘net footprint than YOU do. πŸ˜‰

  60. Skeetarian said,

    February 29, 2008 at 6:52 pm

    Grats on the bundle of joy!

    Here’s just a few of the RA’s you have to look forward to:

    Mastery of Pee I – Ability to wet oneself, RUT 10min
    Mastery of Pee II – Ability to wet your clothing. Players that use this RA however also have a random chance that the RA may trigger a reverse proc, Sore Bottom. RUT 60min,
    Mastery of Pee III – Ability to wet others. This allows the user to wet their clothing and not be discovered until your bottom comes in direct contact with another players lap or arm. RUT 120min
    Mastery of Pee IV – AoE effect, similar to MoPee III, but can effect multiple targets if they stand/sit/lay within the range of where you used this RA. RUT 120min
    Mastery of Pee V – Ability to pee on command. Best used when another player is changing your diaper and is making ‘baby-talk’ with you as you lay defenseless with all your guildies standing around watching. RUT – Random

    Mastery of Poop I – Ability to soil oneself with a green, slimy ooze. – RUT240min
    Mastery of Poop II – Ability to soil oneself with a green, slimy ooze that gives off an AoE type odor. – RUT240min, Min Level required 3-5 days
    Mastery of Poop III – Same as MoPoop II, but if used in conjunction with MoPee III you have a random chance of triggering a Gag Reflex II reaction from your target. – RUT240min
    Mastery of Poop IV – Same as MoPoop III, AoE spell, but if used in conjunction with MoPee IV you have a random chance of triggering a Gag Reflex III reaction from your target. – RUT240min
    Mastery of Poop V – Similar to MoPee V but also has a 75% chance of triggering a Gag Reflex IV and also a 25% chance to trigger a Flight from Room reaction from your target. (50% chance if your opponent is male) – RUT240min


  61. Kitashla said,

    March 3, 2008 at 5:36 am

    Haha, and now you will fully understand all the weird kid stuff I posted on the “rant” board.

  62. John said,

    March 3, 2008 at 12:09 pm

    Ahhhhh, sleep depravation. I remember it…vaguely.

    Enjoy this wondrous time.


  63. Lall said,

    March 3, 2008 at 7:25 pm

    Congratulations – keep in mind that in many years you’ll look back at this time fondly. When that time comes, you can wonder about your sanity.

  64. Intrinsic *Palomides* :) said,

    March 3, 2008 at 9:16 pm

    What wonderful news! Hope he doesn’t keep you up at night too much πŸ™‚ Top Tip! Remember to clean under your finger nails after changing him ;p

  65. William said,

    March 4, 2008 at 2:06 pm


  66. Chanell said,

    March 5, 2008 at 9:05 pm

    omgoodnesses sanya! Congrats!

  67. Ken said,

    March 7, 2008 at 12:22 am

    Awesome news, congratulations πŸ™‚

  68. John said,

    March 10, 2008 at 7:04 pm

    Of all the advice one could think of this may seem strange but….

    A nurse helped us a great deal once when she said, “true diper rash will go away fairly quickly if the baby is clean and dry…if it doesn’t go away quickly chances are it isn’t diper rash but is a yeast infection on their bottom.” The nurse recommended yeast cream and my daughters diper rash, that would not go away, just seemed to vanish.

    Just something to keep in mind for those times when they cry because it hurts so much and it seems like you have tried everything to make them feel well and to get that darn diper rash to go away.

  69. Apache said,

    March 18, 2008 at 4:52 am

    rawr ❀

  70. i3arracuda said,

    March 25, 2008 at 10:45 pm

    Kwisatz! I LOL’d.

    Gratz on the kid. πŸ™‚

  71. Megan said,

    March 27, 2008 at 8:30 pm

    Congrats you guys…. About ready to pop myself.. 6 more weeks

  72. Thorsen said,

    April 9, 2008 at 10:43 pm

    Tweety, out of nostalgia today I logged into the old “rant” site’s ezboard and saw where Goemagog had posted that you had recently had a child. I tracked down this site just so I could tell you congratulations. Life sure is a grand ride, isn’t it?

  73. philez said,

    April 29, 2008 at 8:58 pm

    We’ll have him posting on the Nest before he’s 5, guaranteed.

  74. Belsameth said,

    June 19, 2008 at 10:15 pm

    I’m just a faceless nobody I guess, but being a “fan” of you since I played DAoC I wanted to offer my congratulations anyway πŸ™‚

  75. September 29, 2008 at 2:44 am

    […] personal choices. I don’t post much about my private home life, for example. (see Sanya’s post from last Feb for a similar […]

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